gravity, avoirdupois

grouchy cat SNPD; albeit belated.

convinced my sister to add Pervert to the torture list after she showered Dot Chia Han Ming and Namame Petrelli.

(end of song)

our resident pest Igora Sharkovich would like to sing you a song.

Pervert’s favourite napping position; the belt. She always looks badly bleached. I’m going to join her. I mean nap, not bleach.

The newest feline in the family, found alongside her dead mother & siblings. She looked like a sad straggly mongrel, and still does after several baths. All she does is eat from her bowl, chase after the (disgusted) older cats, then eat from their bowl. After studying her terrible behaviour and theatrical sadface for several weeks, my sister & I decided to call her IGORA SHARKOVICH. fuckyeahkittensharkk

I’m worried that she hasn’t come in to sleep with me like she does every night. I tried calling for her by my window, but after some stares realised that calling out “Pervert” full of affection repeatedly at 3:24am will only do me no good.

my cat Strange, thinking he’s the shit. (he isn’t)

my cat Strange is wearing an Elizabethan collar with cherry shoelaces. I’ve been collecting funny videos of him trying (and failing hilariously) to groom himself.

pervert likes to kiss. I miss Tash already. Who will I eat han chon chicken with over tacky tv shows!

The little monkey Nyonyot Pervert was needy and felt left out. She wants you to know she can pose vogue better than Kentoi. This post is for Uzair.

pervert: yo, you hold me while I give it to em. yea hold me tight.

Damn the liars who told me Kentoi was dead this morning & buried by a samaritan! I found out as I left the house for my physics final & went hysterically batshit, to put it mildly. Then my mother called saying the house was turned upside down & she was found sleeping under the bed. I drove home like lightning after the paper & gave her the biggest hug. As her usual cranky self, she was all “bitch what you fussin about put me down.”

KENTOI: Her teeth are giving out. She’s had two hip surgeries, is grossly overweight, and just had dental surgery, but it’s not getting any better. It just makes me realise that she is as old as a third of my current lifetime, & approaching the end of hers.

She’s always been my mother’s cat so I never realised how attached I’ve gotten, how attached I’ve always been to her. She nags. Some of the numerous nag triggers:

• sleeping late
• waking up late
• making too much noise
• watching television too loud
• having anyone over
• being on the phone
• tossing and turning in my sleep

She’s nagging even now next to me, but I think it is because she’s in pain.

The mean old hag refuses to admit she’s dependent, but it’s been showing through the cracks lately. She sleeps on the sofa next to me, then when I go to bed she creeps in 5 minutes later. When she gets tired of telling me to sleep, she dozes off, and that’s when the fat old cat gets most frail, fragile. I watch her. She makes little whimpers and curls into my skin, then I hug her really tight. I shouldn’t, but she doesn’t even bother pretending to be angry. Not anymore. That’s heartbreaking.

THE MONKEYS: siblings rescued from the roadside, proceed to eat everything they see & tip over bins at night. Inappropriate choices of scratchposts (Tupperware, human flesh), insist on disturbing the senior cats, and pulling on wires till phones or other electronics drop on their heads. The male (left) is beautiful but doesn’t know how to avoid cars, the female (right) is unpopular with guests & always looked like someone just punched her. Both aren’t very bright or sibling-looking but often synchronize their actions. Like so.